Tuesday, May 10th

Alex is doing so much better today. When I arrived at his bedside this afternoon he immediately started moving and soon opened his eyes. His urine output is up and his blood pressure is better. They resumed his feedings this afternoon. Tonight, after changing his diaper, taking his temperature, etc. (the usual steps before a feeding) I read a book and sang some songs to him. He opened his eyes so wide and kept stretching his mouth open as if he wanted to talk to me. Eventually he started falling asleep, but he was fighting it, trying to keep his eyes open. I finally covered him up and said goodnight, because he never would have calmed down with me there. I'm so relieved that he's doing better and my heart is so full of love and awe.

While I was visiting Alex the doctors were doing their rounds. They reviewed Alex's chest x-rays and when I heard them say "He's doing much better," I piped up and said "Yes, he is!". The attending showed me Alex's x-ray from two days ago and today's x-ray. The difference is incredible. Much of the free air that was in the tissue supporting his lungs has disappeared. Thank God for the staff at AMC who know so well how to take care of my boys, and thank God for the strength and healing power he has given little Alex. I continue to be amazed by how quickly my blondie bear bounces back.

Spencer's nurse announced to me this evening that they are going to be switching him to Vapo-Therm sometime tonight. I was so taken aback, I thought "Is she talking about my son?". Vapo-Therm is the next step on the road to breathing on his own. It is moisturized oxygen blown into the nose under some pressure, but not as much pressure as CPAP. It means no more hat and very little in front of his face, and it means being able to get him out of his isolette more easily. It also means I can start kangaroo care! There's always the chance, of course, that he won't be ready and they'll have to switch him back to CPAP for awhile, but that's okay. We'll take each day as it comes and rejoice in the triumphs we have.

My sister said that her 4 1/2 year old twins came upon a fountain at a store and wanted to throw money into it. She told them "Make a wish for your cousins." Cole threw his change in and declared "I wish for a puppy for Alex and Spencer." Not for them to grow, or get well, or get out of the hospital...there's no doubt in his mind that the boys are going to be just fine. Help me God, to have the faith of a child, and not to focus on what might happen, but to dwell on all the beautiful wishes my family, friends, and I have for my boys, and imagine them coming true someday.