Four Months Old

Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged! I think about it almost every day, but finding the time is so hard with both babies home now. Things are finally starting to calm down and life is beginning to have a steady rhythm to it. I'm actually finding the time to get some things done.

Alexander
We've had a flurry of doctors appointments. Both boys are doing well. Alexander weighs 6 lbs. 3 oz. and grew 1/2 inch in 2 weeks! Spencer didn't gain any weight in 2 weeks, but we started him on Zantac this week and he is eating much better. He seems a lot happier and more interested in feeding. I'm sure he's going to have a good weight gain the next time we see the pediatrician.

Alex had a second round of laser eye surgery on July 18th and was in the hospital overnight. I was disappointed that the first surgery didn't help his ROP and that we needed to return to the hospital so soon, but guess what? After his surgery he came right off the ventilator and the next day he came home without oxygen! Just another reminder that everything happens for a reason. At Alexander's follow-up appointment this week the surgeon said that the ROP is regressing. He is not as concerned about Alex now that he has reached full gestation and he doesn't need to see Alex for another two weeks. Spencer has ROP, too, but it is not as advanced as Alexander's was and it is already improving.

Spencer

The hot weather finally broke and Thursday evening after supper I took the boys for their first walk. Alex was crying before we left the house but calmed down and went to sleep while we were strolling. Alex is the big crier; I think he just wants to be held a lot to make up for all the time he couldn't be held when he was so sick. I've been wearing him in a ring sling and it really calms him down. I noticed this morning that when the boys are crying and I walk into the room and say something, they stop. They know me! I still can't believe I'm the mother to these two beautiful baby boys.

Two Turtle Doves Together At Last

Well, I figured out how to get Alex to sleep. Leave the lights on! I guess he prefers that since he's so used to having them on from being in the NICU. Last night Mom and I went and got a portable crib for my room. I laid Alex in it after his midnight feeding. He was totally content to lay there and look around for about an hour/hour-and-a-half before drifting off to sleep, while I was piddling around the room. We both slept so much better last night.

I woke up this morning to a hungry, crying baby whose ostomy bag had come off. I felt totally zonked, but somehow I managed to get him undressed, bath him, apply a new bag, and feed him. This is another reminder that I'm going to be able to get through anything as a mom. Strength that I didn't know I have rises up from somewhere inside of me, and again and again I successfully negotiate the challenges of being a single mother of twin preemies.

Spencer is coming home again today! I'm so excited. The good news is that both boys are on the same feeding schedule now. Maybe I'll actually be able to get some decent sleep. I can't wait to see them laying next to each other in their crib. I can't wait to see how they react to each other. I am so blessed. Things could have been so much worse for my boys. They are very healthy for 24 weekers, they are beautiful, they are good babies. Thank God for them, for my family, and for my friends. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

Alexander's Homecoming

On Saturday, July 9th, after 100 days in the NICU, Alexander Christian came home. He is such a good baby, a great eater with a steady schedule. Grandma is spoiling him with lots of cuddling (she says she's making up for all the time he couldn't be held, and who can blame her?). He's on oxygen and a monitor but is doing great. I am exhausted. We roomed in Friday night at the hospital and I didn't sleep much on the uncomfortable "bed" there. It's taken me some time to discover that I can't just feed Alex and put him back in bed at night. He wants to be held until he falls asleep or swaddled very tightly so that his paci won't fall out of his mouth. Hopefully tonight we'll both sleep a little more soundly. Last night he slept laying on my chest for a couple hours. We both slept great that way, but I can't get into that habit. I have another baby who'll be home soon!

Speaking of that other baby, Spencer is doing really well. He is waking up before his feedings now and taking more than his minimum of 45 ml. His nurses are saying that he is much more interactive and alert this weekend than he was last weekend after being readmitted. Hopefully he'll be coming home soon, too. Then I can really kiss sleep goodbye for awhile!

Miniature Milk-Eating Monsters

Well, Spencer's hernia surgery was cancelled. The surgeon had two emergencies this morning so he didn't have time for Spence. I have no idea when it will get done, nor do I know when Spencer will be coming home again. We're just hanging out waiting for the results of the apnea study, I guess.

Alex is coming home Saturday. The equipment supply company rep came to the hospital today to show me how to use the oxygen and monitor. I changed his ostomy bag once last night and hope to get a chance to do it again before we go home. We're rooming in at the hospital tomorrow night so that I have a chance to deal with everything with nurses close at hand. My sister is rooming in with us, thank God. I want someone else in the family to know how everything works, and I trust my sister implicitly. I just have to say how thankful I am that she is here for us, and how much I appreciate her husband loaning her to me for the night (they have all six of their kids at home right now!).

I forgot to mention yesterday that a couple of the nurses who were watching Alex breastfeed yesterday said "I've never seen a preemie breastfeed like that!". I'm proud of him, and I've given him a new nickname (one I'm sure he won't appreciate when he gets older): the Booby-Monster....LOL....as in: "The Booby-Monster awaketh." He wakes up half an hour before his feeds and screams until he's fed. The boy has a bottomless stomach. He would sacrifice sleep to eat, whereas his brother would sacrifice eating to sleep. The minimum Spencer needs to take at each feeding is 45 ml and he takes just that....not a drop more! It's as if he knows and says "Okay, I've satisfied the requirement. Now let me get back to my sleeping."

Spencer has been undergoing a six channel reflux study since about 9:00 PM last night. He had two apneas during feeds in the wee hours of the morning. The study takes 24 hours, but I don't know how long it takes to get the results. I do know that I'll be insisting on an apnea monitor when is released again.

One of the blessings that has come from Spencer being readmitted to the hospital is that they are going to do his hernia surgery while he is there. He is scheduled for 9:40 tomorrow morning. I'm a little nervous because he's never been under anesthesia before. Hopefully he'll tolerate it okay.

Alex is exclusively breastfeeding when I can be there to feed him. He is a monster at the breast. I'm thrilled! The nurse practitioner in charge of the intermediate nurseries asked me today if I'd be willing to take him home before his intestines are reconnected, because he is pretty much ready to go and they're not sure how soon they'll be able to get the surgery done. I said "Sure." I've been emptying out his ostomy bag lately and I'm sure I can learn how to change it. We'll know tomorrow morning if they can do the surgery Friday. If not, he'll be coming home this weekend. They'll send him home on oxygen and a pulse oximeter and heart rate monitor. It will be cumbersome, but I'll deal with it. He's such an awake, interactive baby. He'll be so much fun to have at home. After he ate today he was still awake and fussing, so I hung this musical, light-up mirror on his crib. He just stared at himself in the mirror. I was amazed by how intent he was.

Spencer is still in the hospital. He is doing a little better since he had a blood transfusion last night, but he is still de-satting and turning purple during feedings. The doctors want to order a study to check his reflux. It could take a couple of days. I miss him so much. It was such a cruel tease to have him home for two days and then have to bring him back to the hospital. It would have been easier if he had just stayed there. I just want to curl up and sleep until he can come home again. I'm so tired.

Spencer's Homecoming....And His Return to the NICU

Spencer came home on Thursday, June 30th, at exactly 13 weeks of age. All of his aunts, uncles, and cousins came to see him within 24 hours of his arriving at the home of his grandparents, where we'll be living for awhile. The first night was really tough; I barely slept a wink. The second night was a little better.










On the way to the hospital yesterday (Saturday) to see Alex, Spencer had an apnea. We stopped at my sister's house to pick her up and when I got out of the car to check on Spencer in the back seat his whole face was purple. He was not breathing at all. I whipped him out of his car seat and gave him some rescue breaths like they taught us in infant CPR. It took some stimulation to get him breathing again, and then he was really raspy and gasping for air. It was the single most frightening moment of my life. I just want to put the image of his face at that moment out of my mind forever.

Spencer was fine after a little while. He was back to himself and even had a little bit to eat. We called the pediatrician's office and they told me to take him to the ER since we were on our way to the hospital. They readmitted him to the NICU, where he had another apnea shortly after admission. He has been fine ever since, but he will be there for up to another week even if he doesn't have any more episodes.

I am so upset with myself for letting this happen. He will be fine, and this gives me some more time to get organized and rested. He is in good hands at the hospital. I'm trying to focus on the positives.

Alex is recovering well from his surgery. He is taking every other feed by bottle and is out of heat. They are going to put him in a crib today, which I'm going to decorate for him. He has hit the five pound mark! It won't be long before they're both home and I'll be missing my "free babysitting".