Wednesday, August 03, 2005

What A Mother Really Needs

It's almost 4 am. I just finished nursing Alex and I should be sleeping, but I have some thoughts I really felt the need to record. Yesterday and the preceding night were probably the hardest since the boys came home. I was exhausted, frustrated, and emotionally and physically drained. My sister and I took a break this evening and went out while Grandma watched the boys (the fact that a simple trip to Target and Walmart has become a major treat for me is a sign of how much my life has changed). The break was good for me. As I was holding Alex after his feeding just now I realized how tense I have been. I began to breath deeply, inhaling and exhaling slowly....inhaling peace and tranquility, exhaling tension and anxiety. As I relaxed, so did Alex. I thought to myself, "The Creator has given me everything I need to be a good mother. I just have to reach deep inside of me and draw from the source." I have been so caught up in doing everything the "right" way that I've forgotten about trusting my intuition. All of the many books I'm reading, all of the sage advice from doctors, nurses, and other parents, are invaluable. But the answers don't lie with them; they lie within me. I need to breath deeply and trust my mother's intuition. Only when I do that will I find the peace that it takes to be the wonderful mother I want to be to my beautiful boys.

4 comments:

Just Me said...

You already are.

marianne said...

intuition is a mother's greatest gift. relax and enjoy them Heather, and don't worry about whether or not you'e doing it "right"...just love 'em, feed 'em and change 'em. that's all they truly need!

gali said...

Heather,
You are such an outstanding mom-filled with indredible strength, love, and courage-Spence and Alex are going to grow to be beautiful reflections of you!
I love you!
Gali

Carly said...

you got it Heather, "all you need is love" and do things the way YOU think is best

breaks are good for Moms... This Mom stuff is hard work and you need to make "ME time" on a regular basis to recharge your batteries.