Alex and Spencer are now one year old corrected. Yesterday was my due date. They are still behind where they should be even for their corrected age, but they are making progress every day. Alex has started creeping. He's getting into the toy bins. I can't trust him without gates anymore. I was beginning to feel like he'd never get to this point, but here he is, and every day he goes a little further.

We had a little carrot cake with the boys' therapists yesterday to celebrate their due date. The boys made such a mess that they ended up having the rest of their therapy session in the bathtub. They loved it. I hope they're not going to expect that every week!

Last week the boys went to the pediatrician for their 15 month check-up. Alex weighs 20 pounds, and Spencer is at 16. They are both growing at a good rate and are healthy. We don't go back for another three months, and then that's it. No more well baby checkups, and no more shots for awhile.

Spencer now has 3 teeth and is working on a fourth. Alex has five and is working on a sixth. Alex gets to go to the dentist earlier than most children. His teeth have come in discolored because of all the medications he's been on, but that's not a cause for concern. The problem is that he has a receding gum line on the bottom. His gums look like they are barely holding his teeth in. The boys get their teeth brushed after breakfast and dinner (if I remember). They seem to love it (I think it tickles them).

Alex's favorite new trick is fake crying. There's just one problem with his little act: he smiles while doing it. I look at him and say "What's wrong?" and there's this little indication of a smile on his face while he's screaming. I tell him "You can't smile and cry at the same time. It doesn't work. People won't believe you," and then he just breaks out in a smile. He hasn't given up trying, though.

Spencer is crawling and climbing everywhere. He's always falling and bumping himself. He cries, but then gets up and tries again. He even loves to crawl around in the bathtub, and doesn't mind getting his face wet. He's my little froggy.

I had a yard sale and freecycled a lot of things last week. The house is getting more cleaned up and organized. It finally feels like our little family is getting settled into our home. Family...home...I am blessed.

Alex gets the hiccups when he laughs really hard.

Anyone who remembers Nickelodeon's '80's show "Turkey Television" might be able to appreciate the song I was singing to the boys this evening as I was preparing their dinner. Alex is sometimes bothered by loud noises, and I could tell tonight that he wasn't too sure about the sound that the Zyliss chopper was making as I pounded on it to cut up their pasta. To alleviate his nervousness I did what I often do when one of the boys is upset. I started singing:

My mommy, she went downtown
She bought some spaghetti
She brought it home
Now she's chopping spaghetti
Chopping spaghetti
Chopping spaghetti
Chopping spaghetti

Thank you Dana Carvey, Nickelodeon, and Turkey TV for giving me a song I'll never forget and can even pass on to my children!

The Cheerio Wiggle

Every morning I put Spencer and Alex in their highchairs for breakfast. While I boil the water for their hot cereal or cut up fresh fruit for their yogurt, I give them Cheerios to snack on. I ask them "Do you want Cheerios?" and then I bring out the box. That's when it happens: The Cheerio Wiggle. The boys wave their arms around frantically and wiggle their little hineys in their seats, big smiles on their faces. I love our morning ritual.

My babies are growing up too fast. What is it about we moms? We await each milestone with eager anticipation, we encourage, even push, our babies to learn and grow, and when they finally reach each goal our joy is tempered with sadness. This week I bought Spencer's big boy car seat. My little, itty bitty, tiny guy is outgrowing his carrier. He's not my little tiny baby anymore. Even though he's still little (just over sixteen pounds) he is crawling, trying to pull up, and doesn't want to be held still and cuddled anymore. He wants to go, go, go!

Alex began sitting up on his own without propping himself on his hands yesterday. He is getting so much stronger. Every day I see improvement. This despite the fact that he has had two surgeries in the last two weeks, the first to excise the scar from his ostomy takedown, and the second to reopen the new incision because it became infected. The kid has a big, open wound on his belly right now, which I have to pack with wet gauze several times a day, and he is just as happy as ever. He's such a trooper. I clap and cheer for Alex every time he works on his developmental milestones. Just today I began teaching him how to clap, too. It's so cute when he actually gets it right. We'll be practicing!

Tonight for dinner I cooked Annie's Organic Whole Wheat Shells and Cheddar for the boys. I chopped some broccoli and threw that in with the shells. This is the first time they've had "real" mac and cheese. I didn't cut up the shells at all, and they ate them. In fact they ate several shells at a time. They are eating like toddlers (and they look like messy toddlers when they're done, believe me). I love every minute of it!

The biggest change is that Alex and Spencer are now drinking regular cow's milk. I am so glad to not have to mix formula anymore, but it's just another reminder that my babies are growing up. I know they can't stay babies forever, and I'm looking forward to watching them learn and grow. I just wish I could still feel the way I did when I cuddled my tiny, warm, soft, precious babies against my chest.

Spence and Alex went to the park the weekend before last with their cousins. Here they are their first time in the baby swings.

Alex just sat up for about five minutes with absolutely no assistance. This is a major development for him. He also began rotating when on his tummy this evening (to reach his favorite Baby Einstein toy). Spencer is beginning to use his knees and get his belly off the floor when doing his "commando crawl"; he's getting so close. They had an amazing PT session today. Both their therapist and I were astounded by how they just took off. Where is this coming from? Is it the fact that they'll be 12 months corrected next month and they're saying to themselves "I've gotta start catching up!"? I don't know, but I am so blessed and so incredibly proud of them.



Click on either of the photos above to go to my Flickr site and see more.

Spencer said "mama" for the first time today!

Today Alex finally figured out this little game I've been trying to play with him. He loves to hit his highchair tray with the palm of his hand. When he does I often respond by hitting it with my hand. Today he finally realized that I was mimicking him, and that he could mimic me. He thought it was so funny!

Spencer figured out how to make the "b" sound for the first time today. The way he scrunches up his upper lip to make the sound is adorable. He's so pleased with himself.

Spencer Milestone

Spencer is getting pretty close to crawling. He moves all over the floor on his belly (I love when he does a 180 to see something or reach a toy). Today he discovered the rack of toy bins we have in the living room. I found him on his belly trying to reach into one of the bottom bins to get the toys. Go Spencer!

I've lost count of the number of times we've been to the pediatrician in the last two weeks. Let's see: last Monday for the boys' allergies; back on Thursday for a fever and cough for Spencer, which resulted in a two day hospital stay for aspiration pneumonia; back on Monday for follow-up for both, which led to a diagnosis of an ear infection for Alex; and now, we're going back today because they both have rashes on their trunks. They were supposed to go see the developmental pediatrician today, but I had to cancel that because it's possible that whatever is causing this rash is contagious. Right now both boys are on antibiotics, Spencer is on a new medication to help his reflux, Alex's breathing treatments have been beefed up because he's been wheezing...I have to have a chart to keep up with it all! Fortunately, both boys are doing much better than they were. I really thought we were on our way back to normal, but then this rash manifested itself. The most important thing is that Alex and Spencer seem happy. I can't really ask for more than that, can I?

I watched the movie Little Man this past week. It's a documentary about a micro-preemie and his family. It paints a very accurate picture of life in the NICU, and of the effects having a preemie has on a family. The film was both painful and joyful to watch. Two years ago it would have bothered me to see some of the images in the film; now I see how absolutely beautiful this child is, what a miracle he is. Watching the film brought me back to the faith I relied upon when Alex and Spencer were in the NICU, and it reminded me of just how lucky I am that they are doing so well.

A Long Overdue Update

It's been so long since I've written about the boys. I don't even know where to begin. They are 13 1/2 months old now (10 months corrected in 3 days). We went to the doctor today because of allergies. Alex is 18 lbs. 13 oz. and Spencer is 15 lbs. 7 oz. He is really taking off with growth now, getting chubbier every day. He loves to eat, and eats just about anything I offer. Alex is a pickier eater, but it doesn't seem to be hurting his growth.

We've been living with family since the boys came home from the hospital. On May 1st we moved out on our own, into a little two bedroom house in a quiet village. We are still getting settled, but it's coming together. It's wonderful to have our own space, and so much of it. I even have my own washer and dryer in the basement. How lucky am I?!!

On May 2nd my father passed away of congestive heart failure. It was a shock and I still can't believe he's gone. He was Alex's and Spencer's Bhapu (that's Sanskrit for father). He was so loving with them. I have a picture of him down on the floor laying side by side with Spencer, playing. I'm so thankful that he knew them, but it makes me very, very sad that they're too young to be able to remember him when they're older. My father loved his grandchildren so much, and it showed. I hope that wherever he is, in spirit, he is watching them and smiling.

We celebrated Mother's Day by taking my mom out for a big brunch. My sister, her husband, four of their children, myself, and Alex and Spencer all went together. My mother is a wonderful mom and grandmother. She gives so much of herself, so much love, so much positive energy. We are blessed to have this bright, beautiful, spiritual, intelligent, loving woman as our matriarch. A lot of what I do as a mother to Alex and Spencer comes directly from what I learned from my mom. I get a lot of compliments on being a good mother, so thanks Mom for teaching me how to love.

Alex now has four teeth. He got his first one the six days after his first birthday. Spencer got his first tooth the weekend we moved into our house. They are both feeding themselves things like Cheerios and bread cubes. We are working on getting switched to whole milk. They eat a lot of vegetables, fruit, oatmeal, yogurt, and chicken, among many other things. I'm trying to instill good eating habits in them early on so they'll have them for life.

Alex and Spencer both babble a lot, primarily saying "da da da da da" to which I respond "ma ma." Alex just laughs at me when I do that. They have conversations with each other. They've become such good buddies. I love watching them play together, even when they're playing tug of war with a toy. Why is the toy Spencer has never as good as the one Alex has? I have finally separated them into two beds. They are rolling around so much that they were disturbing each others' sleep. I can't believe how much they've grown. They've come so far. One year ago Spencer weighed 2 lbs. 8.5 oz. and Alex was 3 lbs. 1 oz. What miracles they are!

I stood over Xander's and Spencer's crib tonight watching them sleep, marveling again at the miracles the universe has blessed me with. In just a few short days my babies will be one year old. Where in the world did the past year go? Can they really be a year old already? Do the first three and a half months, the days and weeks spent attending to them in the hospital every day, really count? They came home just eight and a half months ago. It doesn't make sense. Part of me feels cheated; if they are really just like 8 1/2 month old babies, how can we be celebrating their first birthday already? I can't really wrap my brain around it, can't really fully understand the way I feel. What I do know is that despite my attempts to enjoy every moment, to make the most of my time with them, as people kept telling me to, I still feel like the time has gone by much too quickly. Did I do everything I was supposed to do? Did I love them enough, give them enough attention, take care of them to the best of my abilities? If I didn't, is it too late to make up for lost time? Oh the agony of being a parent. One is never satisfied that she is as good a parent as she wants to be.

My beautiful baby boys, my Allybear and Spenceroni, I love you so dearly, so completely, a love such as I never knew before I first laid eyes on your tiny, weak little bodies. We have been through so much together and you have come so far. You have beaten all the odds, all the statistics, and I am in awe of how healthy, strong, vibrant, and wonderful you are. I hope with all my soul that I bring you half as much happiness in this lifetime as you've brought me in the past year. You are my heart's joy, my precious miracle boys.

The most special moment yet in my life as a mother happened this morning. Alex said "mama." Yes, that's right. He lay there on the changing table and when I bent down out of his view to get his clothes he said "ma ma ma ma ma." I popped back up and he laughed. We played that game for a few minutes and he kept doing it: "ma ma ma ma ma." He's figured out the sound, now he's got to put it together and realize that "mama" is me.

The boys were weighed the Friday before last and both gained 1 pound 4 ounces in a month. Alex is up to 17.4 and Spencer is at 13.4. Spencer is finally gaining at the same rate as his brother. He still seems like a little peanut, but he is really growing.

Alex started rolling over from his belly to his back that same Friday. He is doing so much better with lifting his head while on his stomach, and is even beginning to bear a little weight on his arms in that position. We've also started working on sitting up.

I've been planning the boys' first birthday party. They will be christened that morning at the same church I was christened at as a child. Then we'll celebrate at my parents' house with family and friends. I realize they won't understand the celebration, but I'm going to spoil them rotten. Lots of balloons and presents and cake from my favorite bakery. It will be a special day for me, and I'll make sure there are lots of pictures taken so that I can share the memories with them when they're older.

Here are some recent photos.

My favorite picture of Spencer and Alex so far

Spencer during floor play

Alex during floor play

Alex trying a bagel

Spencer trying his sippy cup

So Happy Together

"I'm having fun playing with you, Alex."

"Oh no! She caught us!"

"I'm so happy we have each other!"

Best Buddies

The boys are 7 months old corrected today, but they'll be 11 months old in just two weeks. It's hard to believe they're almost a year old! Just this past week Alex and Spencer have really started interacting with each other. They babble at each other, laugh, and reach for each other. I love watching them. This is what I've been waiting for. How lucky they are to have each other!
A week ago yesterday I took Spencer to the pediatrician for a weight check. He was up to 12 pounds 10 ounces! This week he started taking between 8 and 9 ounces per feeding, when just last week he was taking 6.5-7. The Prevacid has really helped his voice, too. He doesn't sound like he has laryngitis anymore, and he's been babbling more.

Xander's physical therapist told me Thursday that she believes his torticollis is resolved; the tightness in his neck seems to be gone. Now the task is to strengthen his weak neck muscles. We're working on it every day. He seems to get a little stronger every week.

My niece, M, helps out a lot with the boys. She and her mom (my sister) are both twins. There's a distinct possibility M could be a mother of twins someday. Something tells me she'll be a natural at it.

Happy Valentine's Day


The Loves of My Life - Alex and Spencer

Almost Famous

This morning I took Alex up to AMC to see the nurse practitioner in pediatric surgery. He was due for a follow-up appointment next month, but I rescheduled the appointment because of some concerns I've had about his incision. There are deep sutures under the skin that have created small bumps in the incision where they are trying to push through. At our last visit the nurse practitioner said that his body would eventually push them out and I could just trim them off. I did this with the first one that pushed through about a month ago and it got infected. None of the others seem to have made any progress. The surgeon decided today that he should remove the sutures. Alex will return to AMC and will be under anesthesia for the removal of the sutures. It will be a one-day visit to Ambulatory Surgery. Hopefully his scar will then begin to flatten out and become less noticeable.

I took Alex by the NICU for a quick visit with one of his former primary nurses. She ducked into the March of Dimes volunteer's office and returned with a humongous print of me kangarooing Alex and Spencer. The volunteer takes beautiful pictures of babies and parents during their NICU stays and uses them (with permission, of course) as part of her program. Apparently she is now going to be hanging several of her photographs, including the one of us, around the NICU. Now I really need to send an "after" picture of the boys up there so that other parents might be encouraged by my miracles.

I'll try to get some of those pictures scanned in and posted here. They really are beautiful and priceless. Thank you, Lori!

Another Milestone

Spencer rolled from his stomach to his back for the first time today. He was having a bit of a rough day today. I put him and Xander on the floor for tummy time and he was MAD. So mad that he turned himself over. I kept putting him back on his belly and he kept pushing himself back over. "See what a little anger will help you do?" I said to him. He's my little mighty might, that Spencer.

Aunt G makes Spence laugh

Xander now has a Boppy Tummy Play pillow, which was recommended on the Torticollis Kids website. I wish I had gotten this sooner. He's had a lot of trouble learning to lift his head while on his stomach. I put him on the pillow for the first time and he just took off. It is just the right height to support him and he loves playing with (and teething on) the attached toys.

Xander's Tummy Time

Xander and cousin M 

Zany Xander