Xander and cousin M 

Zany Xander

 

Silly Spencer

 

Growing Every Day

For the past couple weeks Spencer has been working on sitting up while supported by his arms in front of him. Today he was sitting on the floor with very little help from me. I placed two balls in front of him to help motivate him to sit up. To my surprise he reached for them! Spencer has also been standing up, supporting all of his weight on his legs, if I hold his hands and help him up. He smiles and loves it! He gets so upset when I put him back down.

Alex has been working on holding his own bottle. I have to help him get it to the correct angle to bring it into his mouth, and he drops it frequently, but he's getting pretty good at it. When I'm feeding him solids he's started grabbing my hand or the spoon and pulling it toward his mouth if I hesitate in front of his face. I don't think he's going to have any trouble learning to feed himself.

Here's a cute pic of the boys in their Christmas Eve pajamas. Spencer is on the left and Alex is on the right.

My Little Lion, Alex, in a 6-9 month outfit already! 

9 Months Old

Alex and Spencer had their 9 month visit to the pediatrician last Friday. Alex weighs 15 lbs. 2.5 oz. and Spencer is 11 lbs. 8 oz. Alex is on the growth chart for his actual, not his adjusted, age. This is big news, as it means he is catching up. Spencer saw the ENT last Wednesday and he does not have a paralyzed vocal chord. The doctor did, however, see some redness in Spencer's trachea near his esophagus, which he believed to be caused by reflux. Apparently reflux is a very common cause of hoarseness such as Spencer has. Prevacid was prescribed and Spencer will be seen again in about six weeks. I am very hopeful that the medication will help with Spencer's weight gain as well as his voice. He should be able to eat more and spit up less. Today he finished a 6.5 oz. bottle, which is an accomplishment for him. I think we're going to see him getting a lot chubbier in the next several weeks.

Alex began making the "b" sound and blowing raspberries last week. He is so talkative and happy. Spencer is beginning to sit up while propped with his arms in front of him. It's hard work for him and he gets tired quickly. It's funny to see such a little baby sitting up, but that's my Spencer: small and mighty. I continue to bask in the gloriousness of the miracles God has given me.

Happy New Year

Welcome to 2006. That's what I told Alex and Spencer this morning. Yesterday they turned nine months old. It's hard to believe they are 3/4 of the way to being a year old. They should only be 5 1/2 months old right now. They're doing incredibly well. Alex is up to 14 lbs. 14 oz. He recently started babbling. When I put him on the changing table to take care of him he looks up at me, smiles, and opens our conversation with an "ah-goo" or "du-du-du-du-du." Spencer now weighs 11 lbs. 4 oz. Last week he suddenly started eating better and spitting up less. I expect we're going to see some fast growth from him now.

I have many blog entries that I've written down and just haven't gotten around to posting. When the boys do something new or reach a milestone I make notes or write anecdotes. Someday I'll find the time to add them to this space. For now I'll just say that I continue to be blessed every day by my two miracle boys. Here are some pictures from the holidays. All the best to our loved ones in 2006. I know it's going to be a great year for Alex, Spencer, and me.

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays to All from the Two Turtle Doves

E.R.

I was watching a rerun of 'E.R.' today while I was feeding the boys. They were treating a woman who was 24 weeks pregnant whose labor they could not stop. The woman told them she didn't want to have a preemie because her sister had given birth to a premature baby who was in the hospital for months and didn't make it. Several of the doctors supported her view, saying that the baby had a 10% chance at a normal life, and that they shouldn't throw hundreds of thousands of dollars away to try to save one baby who would probably have a very poor quality of life when they could be using those resources to treat other children. It upset me so much to hear these opinions voiced as I sat there holding my two 24 weekers who are now very healthy and normal. I suppose there are many people out there who share the viewpoints that some of the characters on the show expressed. Perhaps they consider their philosophies pragmatic, however I would label them as pessimistic and negative. I believe in miracles, and I have two beautiful boys to prove that miracles really do happen!

October 26, 2005

Last week Alex began waking up just once every night. It has made my life so much easier, only getting up once each night to nurse one baby. This morning I woke up and greeted the boys in their crib. I was sleepily saying good morning when suddenly I realized "Alex, you slept through the night!"

Growing Boys

Alex was finally discharged, after two weeks in the hospital, on Monday afternoon. The last four days since we came home have been very trying. Alex is very fussy and needy, rightfully so. He has an incision across his abdomen and a deep wound from the ostomy site. The wound is closing up nicely; I've been surprised by how quickly it has become more shallow. My poor baby is also suffering from painful, raw skin on his buttocks. His tiny hiney isn't used to having stool on it, especially several times a day. Every day he gets a little better, though. This morning we took a bath together. He was the most relaxed I've seen him since his surgery. He was giving me lots of smiles and could have fallen asleep in the warm water.

I've barely slept a wink all week. I've been up with Alex at all hours of the night. Spencer, however, started sleeping through the night while we were staying at the Ronald McDonald house, and has continued to do so. What a wonderful break it was to sleep through the night for two weeks straight, and it is definitely an advantage to have to care for just one baby at night.
The boys had their appointment with the pediatrician today. Spencer is now 9 lbs. 4 oz. and Alex is 10 lbs. 14 oz. They both gained 25 ounces this month. Spencer is no longer anemic and does not need to take iron supplements anymore. Alex got permission to start on a little rice cereal once a day. He hasn't hit the four month mark in corrected age yet, but the doctor agreed that he is catching up well and would probably be okay starting the cereal. Here he is below trying it out. It was also his first time in his feeding seat. He did a lot better with the cereal when I was holding him, as you can see from the pictures.

Spencer saw the eye doctor again for his ROP two weeks ago. It has resolved and he does not need his eyes checked for another 6 months. He is "talking" a lot now, and squeals with delight at times. He's so excited and full of smiles during our little "conversations"; I really enjoy them.

Humpty Dumpty...

...has been put back together again. During an approximately three hour surgery this morning, Alexander's ostomy was removed and his intestines were reconnected. The surgeon was able to go in through the original incision, which means no new scars. He had to remove Alexander's appendix and the valve between the small and large intestines. Alex will stool more frequently for awhile, but eventually his bowels will adjust. He may have B12 absorption problems, but this will be watched and he can receive shots if needed. And we'll never have to worry about appendicitis! Alex will recover for five days before he is allowed to eat. After that it will take a couple of days to make sure his digestive system is in working order, so he should be out of the hospital in about a week.

Spencer's hernia repair went well. He was in and out of the hospital in about 24 hours, as expected. He has not been his usual easy-going, happy self this week. It's obvious that he's a little uncomfortable. I think he misses his brother and home, as well.

Elmo has been a big help with the boys while we've been at the hospital. Alex was introduced to and fell in love with an Elmo doll a few weeks ago, and I've discovered that Spencer loves him as well. The boys actually smile at Elmo and try to talk to him! It must be those big black and white eyes, that wide mouth, and the cute round orange nose. I've always been anti-Elmo, because I'm a big Grover fan and I feel like Elmo's replaced him, but if Elmo makes my boys happy, I guess he must be alright.

The boys are six months old today. It's really hard to believe that six months have passed since they entered the world. Half of their lives so far were spent in the NICU, but that seems like so long ago to me. I am in awe of the incredible miracles that they are, my beautiful boys. I am so blessed and so full of love for them.

Back to the Hospital

Spencer and Alex check into the hospital tomorrow for their surgeries. Spencer is having his hernia repair done tomorrow at 9:30 am. He will be there overnight. Alex's surgery is on Friday. He'll be in the hospital for 10 days. I'm really glad to finally be getting these last things done. I know they'll both come through with flying colors, but it is still causing emotional stress. That's just the nature of the beast, I suppose. It feels eerily strange to be back at the Ronald McDonald House, where Spencer and I will stay until Alex is released, and going back to visiting the hospital every day to see my son. I hope and pray that this is the last time either of them ever have to be admitted to the hospital.

September 13, 2005

Spencer gained 8 ounces this week! I'm so proud of him. He is now 7 lbs. 12 oz. Alex gained another 11 ounces, to reach 9 lbs. 11 oz. I've got to get some regular formula for him. The doctor said he doesn't need the extra calories from the 22 calorie formula anymore. That's obvious...just look at the porker! She said again how impressed she is by how incredibly well they're doing, and believes it has a lot to do with the breast milk. I agree...that and all the love, prayers, and positive energy from the wonderful people in their lives.

Both boys are doing well with their OT and PT. The therapists are pleased and so am I. Everyone who takes care of them is aware of the things they need to work on. It helps that their therapy is incorporated into everyday activities by their caregivers.

School is a challenge. I love going to classes, but forcing myself to study when I could be playing with the boys or catching up on housework and paperwork is difficult. It also doesn't leave any "down time" for me to unwind. I'm still adjusting, but I believe I'll get into a routine. It's worth the short-term sacrifice for the long-term gain. With my master's I'll be able to find a job I love and make a better living to provide for my boys.

September 7, 2005

Spencer was on his back on the floor hanging out while I was doing some chores. I came back to find him laying on his right side. He turned all on his own. Happy birthday to me....I have the best two gifts ever!

September 6, 2005

Alex weighs 9 pounds!!!

Made Me Laugh

Last night I was patting Alex's back as he drifted to sleep on my chest. Suddenly he burped so loud he made himself jump!

Alex is now 8 lbs. 8 oz. and Spencer is 7 lb. 1 oz. Alex loves brightly colored toys, rattles, and bells. Spencer enjoys staring at the faces of those who hold him, and smiles in response when spoken to. Both are lifting their heads and turning them from side to side when on their tummies, especially when tempted by the sound of a musical toy or rattle. Their therapists are impressed by their development.

I embarked on a new path in life this week: graduate school. My first class was last night. Leaving the boys for the first time was a little sad, but they were safe in Grandma's and Bhapu's care. It felt both strange and wonderful to be doing something other than being a mommy. I'm really excited about this new endeavor, and I know it will enrich the lives of my little family.

19 Weeks Old

Spencer and Alexander visited the pediatrician again this week. Spencer now weighs 6 lbs. 3.5 oz. He's finally gained a little weight, but he needs to keep at it. He's eating better than before, and really enjoys breastfeeding now. The title of "Booby Monster" has been passed from his brother to him. Alexander seems to prefer the bottle over the breast now, probably because of the added calories in the bottle. He's a little piggie. Alexander is now a whopping 7 lbs. 1 oz.! I know he's still a small baby, but he seems so big to me.

Both boys are off their monitors. I'm so glad that we don't have to deal with wires anymore. The only big hurdle left is their surgeries. Alexander's surgery has been postponed once again. It is now scheduled for September 30. I'm so frustrated. It should have been done back in June, and now it's another eight weeks away. Spencer's hernia surgery is on September 26. I will take both boys to the hospital that day. Alexander has to be there for a few days prior to his surgery, to prepare his intestines. He will be there for a total of eight days. Spencer will be there overnight.

We're working on getting a bedtime routine down. I start grad school on August 29. Mom will be watching the boys in the evening while I'm at classes. A bedtime routine will make things easier for everyone. Alexander and Spencer really are good babies. After their morning bottle they'll usually hang out in their crib together, and I can get breakfast, a shower, and a few things done. They have their fussy period in the late afternoon/early evening, when they require a lot more holding and nursing. Alexander really loves being held by his Bhapu; he relaxes and snoozes on my dad's chest. I'm so grateful for my parents' help. The boys are so blessed to have so much love.

A Very Good Day

Alex went to see the eye surgeon for another follow-up appointment today. There is no further growth and the Plus disease is resolved. He doesn't need to see the surgeon again and will not need to have his eyes examined again until October. I told the surgeon I could just hug him for saving Alexander's sight. I am so thankful. We also visited the pulmonologist today. Alex is doing well and no longer needs to take the diuretics (two less yucky medicines to force into him every day!). They'll do an overnight home study to make sure everything is okay and then they'll take him off the monitor. Oh...they weighed Alex: six pounds nine and a half ounces! Even with his ostomy he is gaining weight steadily. I'm so pleased with his progress.

Both boys behaved so well for me today during all our running around. They both ate well and did not fuss a lot. It did wonders for my spirits to have a "good" day with them.

What A Mother Really Needs

It's almost 4 am. I just finished nursing Alex and I should be sleeping, but I have some thoughts I really felt the need to record. Yesterday and the preceding night were probably the hardest since the boys came home. I was exhausted, frustrated, and emotionally and physically drained. My sister and I took a break this evening and went out while Grandma watched the boys (the fact that a simple trip to Target and Walmart has become a major treat for me is a sign of how much my life has changed). The break was good for me. As I was holding Alex after his feeding just now I realized how tense I have been. I began to breath deeply, inhaling and exhaling slowly....inhaling peace and tranquility, exhaling tension and anxiety. As I relaxed, so did Alex. I thought to myself, "The Creator has given me everything I need to be a good mother. I just have to reach deep inside of me and draw from the source." I have been so caught up in doing everything the "right" way that I've forgotten about trusting my intuition. All of the many books I'm reading, all of the sage advice from doctors, nurses, and other parents, are invaluable. But the answers don't lie with them; they lie within me. I need to breath deeply and trust my mother's intuition. Only when I do that will I find the peace that it takes to be the wonderful mother I want to be to my beautiful boys.